do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Someone came in the potted fern
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
