you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The Olympian is in my bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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