worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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