careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
