where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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