Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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