Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
