yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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