Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
worst night to have a conscience
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize