So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
