i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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