Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize