yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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