so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
