did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize