i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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