Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
