if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You took a bar mat shot.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
