How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the condom got lost in my hair
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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