would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
