Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm really busy with my period
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