remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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