i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
