yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
