I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
