I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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