I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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