you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize