i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
