If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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