So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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