In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
