Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
