would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Randomize
