hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
