he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
