She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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