ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
