Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
