Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
