i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
