He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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