You can't motorboat a personality
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
