so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
