just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When are your genitals available?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
