Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize