hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
