Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
