WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
