in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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