I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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