I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
