dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
