It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
