Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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