it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
