Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
