The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We are two peas in an std pod
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ttyl tear gas
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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