First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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