Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
