so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
