awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
