weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The air taste purple.
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