Your tits are I can't wait for
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
