this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
