Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
