if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In America we eat man semen.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
