His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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