so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
