if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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