hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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