So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Where is the hickey?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
