his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
