i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
