Sry I called you an 8
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
