Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
