Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
