mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
